Planning a funeral can be very difficult, since you're probably already in an emotional state. However, most funeral parlours offer full services to help you with planning, meaning that you simply need to decide what your loved one would have wanted. We've put together a guide to funeral planning so that you'll know what to expect and can be prepared.
Funeral Parlours and Services
In South Africa there is no law requiring a funeral service. However, many people choose to have a memorial service for their loved one. In some cases, your loved one may have specified in their written will what they would prefer, whilst in others you may have to plan what you think your loved one would have wanted.
Funeral planning comes at a difficult time, often the day after you've been bereaved. But most funeral parlours will help you with the process. You are free to choose any funeral parlour you like (if the deceased has already been taken to a parlour, you may request a move), but using official funeral services is important. For reasons of hygiene and safety you must use a recognised undertaker. This means that your first step in the funeral planning process is to visit the funeral parlour you have chosen.
What to Take to the Funeral Parlour
Whilst the funeral parlour will do most of the work for you, there are some things that you will need to take with you on your first visit which will help them to do their job. Make sure you have:
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Clothes that you wish the deceased to wear during the service and cremation/burial;
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A photocopy of the deceased's official identity document;
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The identity document of the next of kin;
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A copy of the deceased's funeral cover insurance policy (if there is one);
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Marriage certificate (if the next of kin is the spouse of the deceased, or if the funeral cover policy covered both spouses);
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A picture of the deceased that you wish to appear on the hymn sheets during the funeral.
Be aware that if there is a funeral cover policy you should read through this carefully first to ensure that there are no limitations on which funeral parlour you may use. Whilst not many funeral cover policies have these limitations, some do, and others offer special rates at chosen funeral parlours.
What the Funeral Parlour Will Handle
Most of the funeral arrangements will be handled by the funeral director himself, though there will be some decisions that you will need to make regarding the kind of service you wish to have (see next section). In terms of practicalities, this is what you can expect the funeral director to take care of, and are things that you will not need to worry about:
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Collecting the death notice from the hospital/clinic concerned, registering death with the authorities and collecting the death certificate;
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Providing you with copies of all paperwork that you may need for funeral cover or life insurance purposes, or for estate planning (involving the money, property, belongings and businesses of the deceased);
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Anything involved with repatriation (returning the deceased to his home country or home town) if necessary, including embalming and transport;
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Posting of death notices in newspapers;
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Offering a selection of coffins or urns to choose from;
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Preparing the deceased for viewing or for the funeral, including dressing;
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Making bookings with cemeteries or crematoria;
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Making arrangements for the funeral service (under your guidance).
Funeral Decisions You Will Need to Make
There are some decisions that you're going to need to make yourself. These decisions will help your funeral director plan an appropriate service for your loved one. The major decisions you will need to make are:
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Do you wish to have a burial or a cremation? (in most cases the wishes of the deceased are clear on this point);
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Do you wish to have the funeral service at a particular location, maybe the family church?;
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Aesthetic decisions will also need to be made, and your funeral director will probably offer you a choice of floral and candle arrangements;
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What should appear on the hymn sheets? (if you choose to have a religious ceremony the appropriate religious leader should help with this and then communicate your wishes to the funeral director);
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What kind of catering do you require? (it's traditional for family and friends to gather after the funeral, though most funeral directors will help you contact a catering company if required and explain your needs);
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Do you wish for any personal items of the deceased to be on display at the funeral? (perhaps photographs, or important items belonging to the deceased).
Additional Items
There are a few other things that you may wish to keep in mind, though these things don't apply to every funeral service. If the deceased was a member of the military, or a military veteran, then some form of military recognition may be given at the funeral, for example.
You will need to think about nominating family members for different actions, such as speaking at the ceremony, or being a pall bearer (someone who helps carry the coffin, usually six people are necessary for this).
Also, there are certain practices that you might want to consider. A night vigil is a time before the funeral when people can come and pay their respects to the deceased, though it's not required to have one. You may also want to think about choosing a tombstone, which can be placed directly after the funeral, or can be erected at a later date (sometimes with an accompanying unveiling ceremony).
However, a good funeral director should lay out all your options for you and lead you through the funeral planning process.
Funeral Planning: In Conclusion
Planning a funeral is an emotional time, but with a good funeral director at your side your work should be minimal. What is important is that you give your loved one the memorial service that they deserve, and your funeral parlour will assist with this in every way possible.
* Disclaimer: We do not represent any of the companies, products and/or services reviewed, published or advertised on this website. Nor are we financial, health or insurance professionals or services provider. If you request a quote or purchase a product/service, it will not necessarily be given by the company reviewed on any specific page. Any decisions you make based on the information presented is at your own discretion and we advise that before doing so, you consult with the relevant professional.
Main subject: Funeral
